Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
