okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
