Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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