last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
