What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
