Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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