Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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