That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
