I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
