I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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