operation have a gay friend backfired
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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