How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
