Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Are my feet made of real feet?
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
