my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
