so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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