I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
