take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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