Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
My ass is underappreciated
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
