question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Acid is not a monday night drug
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
