Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize
