party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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