An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
