addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
