Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
