I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
