her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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