Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
