I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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