brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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