Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
