And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
