these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
