New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
