you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
