Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
