I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize