Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
