Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
