this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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