I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I just googled if crying burns calories
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
