Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
