Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
