Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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