fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
