He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
