I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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