We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
