so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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