I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
