Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
