My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
