Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize