She said her name was "party"
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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