VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
