im gay
i know
yea but for you.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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