I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
as a side note pls kill me
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
