the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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