This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize