I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
