the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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