Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
