If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
i've created a new STD.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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