we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize