there's paper in my vomit.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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