I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
