I got chris browned last night
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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